April Knee Doctor Appointment

Well my appointment with the knee doctor last month was pretty disappointing to say the least. They took an x-ray and told me what I already knew: that my knee caps are tilted. This is not new news. He also said that he thought I had not spent enough time in physical therapy yet. So although he gave me a prescription for an MRI so that I wouldn't have to come back for another appointment just for that, he wanted me to go to PT for four more weeks before using it.

I debated with myself what to do, because I really believed my knee was not going to get better. But I decided to follow the doctor's instructions and continue PT before getting the MRI. Well we are at almost 4 weeks later now, but my knee is not really better. Over the past week I have noticed a slight improvement, but that is mostly because I have been really sick and resting more and doing less. I know that as soon as I'm back to more activities, my knee will kill me again. So I am planning to schedule the MRI ASAP so that we can see what's really going on in there. I only wish I had followed my intuition and done it sooner.

I have to get my knee better soon because not only am I moving to New Orleans this summer, I'm also traveling to Europe where I will need to do a lot of walking!

My knee has to get better in time to explore Prague this summer!

My Stupid Knee

Today the damage to the skin on my knee after my frost "nip" incident is FINALLY, almost looking normal. Here's today's lesson: Never get frost bite (or frost nip).

My knee overall is not doing well. I have been going to physical therapy for four and a half weeks and my knee is not better. If anything, it's worse. And so I have decided to go to the doctor to have it really looked at. Dave (PT) thinks I need an MRI at this point. The problem is that my ankle surgeon is only an ankle specialist, and his entire practice is only for feet and ankles. It was awesome to know that I had an ankle expert working on my ankle, but now that my ankle has affected my knee, it means I have to find a new doctor to look at my knee.

I found a practice that accepts my insurance (the one that was recommended to me did not accept it) and was able to make an appointment with a knee specialist. Luckily, they had an appointment pretty quickly. I am scheduled to see the doctor on Monday (4/22)! Hopefully I can get this looked at, find out what's wrong, and get moving again! Not only do I want to get back to working out (I had to cancel my remaining appointments with my trainer), I have some big plans for this summer and I don't want to be in pain!

HAHAHAHA!!

Second Post-Op Appointment

My brain is still over-tired and on overload; on Monday I missed another PT appointment. This one was particularly important because I was supposed to be re-evaluated and have all my measurements taken again to show my progress since starting PT, and a report made to take to my latest surgical post-op appointment with Dr. Buchanan. I was so tired and so frustrated with myself that I forgot another appointment, and a really important one, that I burst into tears on the phone with the receptionist while driving. It was not pretty. But it was an important lesson in how tired I was and how I needed to get my life back in order and stop being a hot mess this month. I'm getting it together, I swear!

Tuesday morning I had my second post-op appointment. This one went a little better than the last one, but was honestly not all that informative. First, I got another x-ray taken and waited for Dr. Buchanan. He was again very pleased with the way things were going - he was happy with the way the incision looked and how the x-ray was showing my healing progress. He said that I could get back to normal activities such as swimming and biking, but that I should wait a few more months to run or to use the treadmill.

This time I got to look at the x-ray too, something I have rarely gotten to do and I always tell myself to make sure I ask to see it. Good thing I know what happened to my ankle because my x-ray looks cRaZy. There are two lines showing my bone in different stages of healing. Of course you can see the line where the screw was taken out a few weeks ago that used to be holding my heel in place. There is also another, bigger, darker, line that is where my bone was cut during my first surgery. Basically I now see what they mean by "Swiss cheese bone." My bone is a mess. No wonder it hurts! And Dr. Buchanan also said it's expected to feel achy through my heel/ankle right now. These are holes in my bone and these were major surgeries and changes to my bone structure, of course it's going to hurt. He also said it could be a year or so until it really fills in and feels "normal" again. Good to know. Finally some validation to my pain! It was really a relief to see the x-rays myself and talk about them.

And that was really all he had to say - he's happy, this is normal. I go back to see him in three months to make sure that I've gotten back to running and all normal activities. When he said that I felt a little nervous because that's what he told me after the first surgery, and of course making sure I got back to running and normal activities never happened last time. I am praying that it does happen this time and in January I can say, YES! Finally I have gotten back to normal activities including running without pain. We will see...

Lessons of the day:  Always ask to see your x-ray. It helps. Get enough rest. And stay patient, especially with yourself!

One Year After Surgery

Yesterday marked one year since my ankle surgery. This is a landmark I've been waiting for. It was supposed to be a marker that I could measure my progress by; but after having my second surgery two weeks before this anniversary, I've had quite the setback. I'm just starting to walk again after the second surgery and I'm having to go back to physical therapy, which I wasn't supposed to need to do. I'm ok with going because I recognize that I definitely need to get into PT - I'm not walking well at all. I'm just wondering when it will actually be that I can say "I'm better," or even, "I'm doing really well," when someone asks me. I'm definitely frustrated. But, I do recognize that most likely with more time (and lots more patience) I will get better. And maybe someday I will be better than normal and get back to real activities that I love - like working out (maybe even boxing again??).

When I get down about my ankle and the fact that I have been on activity restrictions for one and a half years now, I've gained weight, and in general my life has been put on hold, I try really hard to look on the bright side. There are people who have worse things happen to them, who aren't going to get better, and whose illnesses or injuries really permanently change their lives. The people I think of the most are our men and women in uniform. How many of them come back injured physically or permanently loose the use of their foot or other body part? And how many of them protect us, but are injured in other ways we can't see? These heroes are inspirational.

This experience with my ankle and having surgery, just like everything else I've been through in my life, is just part of who I am now. As a very wise supervisor would say, it's "woven into my tapestry." It's changed many things about me, but in the end there's nothing I can do about it, it's just something that happened. It's taught me many lessons, and I try to look at it the best way possible. I hope writing my story here helps my friends keep up with me, as well as gives others some hope that if you're going through something, keep going! It will get better! And I hope I've shared some of the hope and kindness I've been shown, as well as the lessons that have helped me.

I feel like I should have made a celebratory cake! One year since surgery!