My Stupid Knee

Today the damage to the skin on my knee after my frost "nip" incident is FINALLY, almost looking normal. Here's today's lesson: Never get frost bite (or frost nip).

My knee overall is not doing well. I have been going to physical therapy for four and a half weeks and my knee is not better. If anything, it's worse. And so I have decided to go to the doctor to have it really looked at. Dave (PT) thinks I need an MRI at this point. The problem is that my ankle surgeon is only an ankle specialist, and his entire practice is only for feet and ankles. It was awesome to know that I had an ankle expert working on my ankle, but now that my ankle has affected my knee, it means I have to find a new doctor to look at my knee.

I found a practice that accepts my insurance (the one that was recommended to me did not accept it) and was able to make an appointment with a knee specialist. Luckily, they had an appointment pretty quickly. I am scheduled to see the doctor on Monday (4/22)! Hopefully I can get this looked at, find out what's wrong, and get moving again! Not only do I want to get back to working out (I had to cancel my remaining appointments with my trainer), I have some big plans for this summer and I don't want to be in pain!

HAHAHAHA!!

Another Knee Update

After trying to rest my knee for some time, it's not really getting better. In fact, it is now worse than ever. Not only can I not exercise without pain, I also cannot even walk up the stairs without pain at this point. My knee makes this awful clicking noise that I feel with every step. It's so bad. So last week I finally did what I had been trying to avoid but knew was coming: I made an appointment with physical therapy to be re-evaluated for my knee pain. Unfortunately Dave could not see me until this Wednesday, March 20th, so I am just waiting until then.

It's really frustrating and overall really sucks. There's no other way I can describe it right now. But hopefully Dave will have some ideas and I can get my hip and knee in alignment and working well again. I'm hoping to be back to real work outs soon. Let's see how it goes!

I'm a sad cloud over my knee again.

Yoga

So a couple weeks ago I went to my first ever yoga class. I loved it! And since then I've been to two more.

I have been talking about going to yoga for years, and for some reason I never actually did it. After my ankle I knew that I was not strong enough to do it because I could barely stand on my right side, much less balance and hold a pose. After finally feeling better and getting stronger after my second surgery I decided it was time to try yoga finally!

I loved it! But it is really hard! I guess I thought it would be mostly stretching or something. And it's even harder than Pilates. But because I have been working out with my trainer I am actually getting stronger, so I was able to hold a lot of the poses. My main problem area to work on is flexibility. I am so tight! But I am hoping this will help stretch out some of my muscles as well.

My other worry is that I was told never to even walk around without shoes on after my surgery, so exercising and standing on my right foot without shoes on is worrisome. I walk around without supportive shoes on at my house all the time and don't have a problem. But actually balancing all of my weight on my right foot, barefoot, is another story. I am hoping this is not adding to my current knee pain. I also noticed my right ankle/foot has been more swollen recently and am worried this is a sign it does not like yoga. For now I have been icing and resting when I can. I hope I'm able to continue!

Amazingly, I can also do this (although don't look quite this good I imagine)! But is it hurting my ankle??

Final(?) Surgeon Appointment

Oops! I never actually posted this post:

On January 23rd I had my final post-op appointment with the ankle surgeon. Overall he was pretty pleased with my progress and happy to hear that I can run and work out and everything again.

My appointment was at 10:15am, but at noon I was still just waiting in my room. Apparently they only had one x-ray tech for three doctors. I need an x-ray taken before the doctor will see me. So there I sat, for over an hour. I finally had to go out and say something to the nurses, and I finally was taken back for my x-ray. Luckily I didn't have anything else planned that day. But what if I had to go back to work? SO inconsiderate of people's time. I have never had such a bad experience there. But I digress...

When Dr. Buchanan was FINALLY able to review my x-ray, he came into see me. He said the x-ray looked great and he was pleased with the way my bone work is healing. I told him how I had finished physical therapy and was discharged after being able to do some working out activities. I reported that I was able to do things like stand on my toes now and had a lot less pain overall - that I'm even able to run on the treadmill! He was impressed. I mentioned that I do still have more swelling than I think I should have, and he agreed. He suggested I get athletic compression socks to help with the swelling. I also mentioned that I feel my knee and hip feel out of alignment, and he gave me a prescription to return to physical therapy to work on this. I am not thrilled about the idea of returning to PT, but if the pain continues, I'll do it. It's always good to have the option to go, and at least it's not after major work this time. Hopefully getting my knee and hip back in alignment will be simple and will alleviate any lingering pain.

So overall a pretty positive visit. And Dr. Buchanan said unless there are any major problems I do not have to go back. We shook hands and parted ways for good, I think...

Officially discharged!!

Shannon & Terry's Wedding: My Ankle Can Finally Dance!!

On Saturday, January 19 my friends Shannon and Terry got married! I was so honored to get to be part of their special day by being a bridesmaid in their wedding. My ankle was not sure if it was going to make it all day/all weekend in wedding shoes... but it did!

Wedding party!

Rehearsal dinner night we wore little black dresses (white for Shannon) and fun shoes. Sadly, they do not make orthopaedic shoes in very fun styles. But when I gave away all of my shoes that were not ortho approved (YES! this really did happen a little while back) I saved one or two pairs I could not part with! Luckily, one of these pairs was a fun, flat silver shoe. They have absolutely no support, but I can wear them for a couple hours at a time. By the end of the night my ankle was done, and I was worried about the next day. I got it up and rested it as much as I could to be ready!

Bridal party at the rehearsal dinner! Little black dresses and fun, cute shoes! 

Being silly showing my shoes before the wedding.

Months ago Shannon helped me pick out the flattest bridesmaid shoes on the shoe site we used. She found the ones I wore and I loved them because they were almost flat (maybe 1 inch wedge type heel!) but still cute. I was worried when they came and I tried them on because they hit me right on my scars, which are still tender. My dad saw me trying to walk in them originally and asked if I had injured myself because of how I was walking. I sent them to get dyed and prayed that what I put on my scars to shield them would work. I wore them around the house one day to break them in and had no problems. And I wore them for the wedding and had no problems! After spending a lovely morning getting ready together at the Harvard Club, we trolleyed out to the church for the ceremony. My ankle was fine walking down the aisle. Then we trolleyed back to the city with the newlyweds and took lots of pictures! For this we changed into Uggs or boots. And you all know my secret - that my ortho inserts fit into my Uggs when I wear them, so I was very comfy! Reception meant back into the wedding shoes! But guess what?? I ran around the reception and danced the night away in my shoes ALL night!! I didn't have to change into my ortho flip flops I brought! It was very exciting!

This isn't even my right foot... but Shan found some pretty cute shoes for being flat, right? And look how great the hot pink color pop looks with the navy!

With the bride! And what a great view of the shoes she picked for me!

With my savior for the night, Amanda!

By the end of the night my ankle was DONE though. Walking around Boston later, it just couldn't go anymore. My love Amanda let me lean on her when we walked back to the hotel, which I really appreciated! And sadly when my ankle is done, I am done. It was a very long day so I was pleased that my ankle did as well as it did. I really had been worried about it for months, and I had relatively few ankle problems when it really counted. All in all, a good day/weekend for my ankle, and more importantly a spectacularly beautiful weekend and celebration for Shannon and Terry!

Rehearsal dinner with the bride. I love this pic of us!

After the reception with the groom! Why I couldn't take a picture with both of them, I don't know...

Team Awesome. Over and out.

Knee Update

So my knee has been killing me. Last week I finally had to call Dave, my physical therapist, because my knee was hurting so bad. Not only did I have to stop running, I was having trouble doing normal things, including just walking in my day-to-day life. Over the weekend I was in a wedding (look for another post on that!) and I finally heard back from Dave Monday.

Dave said he thinks I am getting tendinitis in my knee and having a problem with a sliding knee cap. That sounds about right. I've never had great knees. He said I needed to ice it and rest it. He reiterated to BACK OFF it, or it will NOT get better. I got it, loud and clear. He said no running while it's like this. He was not too happy about the elliptical either. He suggested biking and said that this would be best because I'm having this problem because my quad muscles are still too weak.

So I am following Dave's advice: backing off things like running and anything that generally hurts, icing and resting, and moving to biking, etc. to strengthen my quads, and really stretching my legs out. Man my legs are tight!!

Bahahaha! This cracked me up!

Progress (until last week)

I have been so excited about my fitness progress recently! I've continued working out at least weekly with my trainer and also added in cardio on days I don't work out with him. I started a "Couch to 5K" app so that  I could slowly build up to running again. It helps to do the intervals of walking and jogging. IT'S BEEN 20 MONTHS OF ACTIVITY RESTRICTIONS!!! Getting back in shape HURTS, but finally in a good way! 

I might be high on endorphins, but I love working out again. I love the challenge of working with my trainer. He also quotes movies and tells me funny stories that make me laugh when I'm working out. I love my couch to 5k plan. I'm loving getting back in the gym! I'm planning to get in the pool soon too! Everything was going great until last week. Here's what (I think) happened...

The whole right side of my body has been out of alignment since I got injured in March 2011. I was put in a walking boot and that tends to throw you off, because your feet are two different heights. Things got worse after the first surgery. Of course one side of my body had to get stronger since it was being used, while the other side atrophied while recovering. I also began to sleep with my foot up on a stack of pillows to get it above my heart after surgery. It was so weird to get used to at first. And I had to sleep on my back to keep it up there at first, which I hated! Eventually I got used to it. I have literally been sleeping with my right foot elevated on at least 2-3 pillows since September 2011. Eventually I could sleep on my stomach or my side with my foot still elevated. This has really been rough on my right hip. So recently I've noticed that standing for a while, like while at a swim meet, my hips and back hurt SO bad. Like SO BAD!! Then last week my right knee started acting up. Thanks a lot right knee. I don't need this!

Last week I told my trainer Mike about my knee and he had me back off some leg exercises. My arms got an extra workout that day! After a LONG swim meet Friday night, I spent the rest of the weekend resting my knee/ankle/hip. It felt like it was ready to go. Today I headed back to the gym to do a couch to 5k cardio workout. I could feel how bad my knee was when I was first warming up and walking. When it came time to jog I could not take the pain. I had to get off the treadmill and tried to use the elliptical, thinking it would be easier on my knee. It was easier, but I still had pain. So I got off that too and went home. I'm so bummed.

Tomorrow I will be putting in a call to my physical therapist to see what I should do. And next week I see my ortho surgeon again - it's supposed to finally be my last appointment! I thought I would have good news for him, but now I'll need to see what I should do to get back in alignment and stop having this crazy knee pain!

New Year, New Goals

It's amazing to me how different this year is from last year already. And how different my goals for myself and my ankle are... And then again how some things never change...

Last year at the holidays I was pretty proud of myself for wearing two tennis shoes. It was seriously a major milestone. I was still in physical therapy, and just inching along with my ankle progress. I remember that every single morning I woke up, put my feet on the ground, and felt searing pain. I wondered if I would ever step out of my bed in the morning and not feel pain, or at least not feel like I had a giant right foot.

Amazingly, I now get out of bed in the morning and (usually) my feet feel exactly the same as each other. I sometimes marvel at this. And if it's raining or really cold (as if that ever happens around here anymore) I can jog real quick from my car to the building. I seriously wondered if that would ever happen again. And I really thought that I would have to get used to a "new normal" where I couldn't work out or do some other things the way I wanted to. But guess what? I CAN NOW WORKOUT!! I got back into it slowly, but I can seriously do any exercise. Well, any exercise that my out-of-shape body and lack of endurance allow me to do. It's pretty exciting!

So my goals for 2013 are to get back in shape. To work out consistently, start swimming, and running. I need to get into shape and also lose this weight I've gained while I've been on activity restrictions for the past 20 months. And I really need to get my endurance and muscle mass back!

PT now = Personal Trainer

I originally wrote this post in the beginning of December and never posted it officially... oops!

For Christmas my parents bought me sessions with a personal trainer. This is like the best gift EVER and I am so excited about it!!

I wanted to get back into working out safely. I'm an athlete - I know I'm out of shape and I've been on activity restrictions for almost 2 years now. I can push myself, but I like it when someone else helps push me. And I really wanted to make sure I didn't push myself too hard too soon, or do something wrong, and re-injure myself. A personal trainer is definitely an investment, so I was beyond excited that I got sessions as a Christmas gift.

I joined the gym my sister has been going to. It's awesome, and way less expensive than Freedom Center. When I signed up for personal training the guy was like, "Do you want a male or female trainer?" Of course I said, "Definitely male." "Oh, you want someone to push you? I have just the guy," was the response I got. Awesome. No seriously, I was way excited.

Last week I met Mike. And he is awesome. After an assessment day, we got to the real work on Thursday morning. Oh my gosh, I am out of shape!! I mean, I knew I was out of shape, but this was ridiculous! And Mike was like, "You did great today! This was great for a first day!" Oh Mike...

After my work out I felt awesome, but tired! I was SO tight. Apparently my muscles were so tight that they were pulling things out of place. When I got to New York that night I allowed my friend who is a chiropractor to adjust me for the first time. It was scary and it hurt a little, but I felt so much better. WOW!! Since then I've been trying to stay looser, because she's not around to fix me! :)

Tuesday it was back to work with Mike. It was a little easier this time! And he was very impressed that I remembered how to do things correctly. I woke up Wednesday morning with sore legs and a left arm that I couldn't straighten. (Yay!) Every now and then I get a tendinitis flare up in my bicep tendon, and that seems to be the problem right now. I had another session with Mike today, and luckily I was still able to do all of my exercises even with my bogus arm. He continues to push me and be simultaneously impressed that I'm improving. I don't see it, but I appreciate the positivity. Today he also brought me this heart rate monitor thing which was awesome. I would really like to invest in one if I had the money because it just keeps track of so many things for you and tells you where your heart rate is at. I was definitely able to keep mine up pretty high!

Onward!!

This Week's Ankle News

So this week because of the holiday I could only make it to PT once. I went bright and early yesterday morning to see Dave. My ankle is feeling a lot better after being mysteriously "compressed" on the outer side of my ankle/foot. I would say it's not at 100% like it was when I first started doing all of the crazy exercises, but much, much better than when it got compressed. So yesterday I got to walk in all four directions on the treadmill again. I didn't do any other exercises or jumps, but the treadmill felt ok. I did my stretches and had some manipulation done to my foot before icing and being hooked up to the stim machine again. As the day went on I was on my feet a lot. My foot was definitely swollen, but not more than usual. I think it's getting better!

Today I went to the gym with my sister to try going to Zumba. Dave said I could try it but that it might hurt to go side to side, which has been the biggest problem after this injury. Our biggest worry was that I would not be able to do a whole one hour class yet because I have not built my endurance back up. I decided to try the class today. And guess what? I did it!! There were definitely some moves that were hard for my ankle, and I can tell my right side is still weaker. But I was able to do almost everything in the class, and made it through a whole one hour class!! I can't even tell you how happy I am about this!!

Next week I have two more PT appointments. And this should FINALLY really be the end of physical therapy. But every time I think that, something happens... So keep your fingers crossed!!

I totally look like this girl on the left when I Zumba - I'm that good! ;)

Update: The Bad News

As you can see, my last post was written in the past tense... So things were going on wonderfully for about 2-3 weeks. I was definitely high on endorphins! And then came the bad news...

After pushing it hard for a couple weeks, high school swimming started. I spent time standing on a concrete pool deck everyday. I also joined Freedom again so I could work out before practices or swim after. About two weeks ago we had a Saturday practice where I worked out on my own (walking on the treadmill) and then I stood on the deck for over two hours. My foot hurt SO bad afterwards. And it didn't feel any better as time went on. I even noticed as I massaged my scars I could feel the outside of my ankle as if it was bruised. I couldn't massage one of the scars because of it.

I limped into PT last week and was so upset. I knew I wasn't going to be able to do any of the exercises I'd been doing. I was in pain. And I didn't know how long it would be to get better again. Dave looked at it, spent time manipulating it, and determined that I had compressed something on the outside of my ankle. It's still kind of a mystery how this happened. Basically, it should not have happened and we don't know why it did. It's an injury I got from doing these exercises, but isn't really related to my surgery. Weird. My main concern was how long this was going to take to get better. I'm tired of waiting to heal and am running very thin on patience!! I was supposed to be discharged from PT last week because I was doing so well. Instead I spent the week getting my foot massaged and manipulated (not as nice as it sounds, after an injury it hurts!),  hooked up to the stim machine and icing it down while elevated, and resting. I made an appointment for this week and the next. Yay! Not really...

Spending my time at physical therapy like this again...

Update: The Good News

Well I've been missing for a little bit - things have been absolutely crazy in my life. But here's a quick update on my ankle:

At the end of October I started to do more and more things at PT, and it was amazing. I could do it!! I walked directionally on the treadmill, did jumps, and started doing football drills for agility. I was running and grape-vining across the gym. I started jumping not only front to back, side to side, but also diagonally. It was amazing! I felt like everyday at PT I got an amazing workout in. I was on cloud nine! It felt so good to finally be working out again and to be able to do so many types of exercises after over a year of not being able to do any of these things. The only down side was, it was really telling how out of shape I've gotten in these past 19 months of activity restrictions. Oh my goodness - I was dying! But the feeling of now having the option to do some exercise, and some vigorous exercise, was amazing!!

I Can Jump!!

Wednesday was the first day Dave decided to push me harder in PT, and it was awesome. I warmed up by biking for 5 minutes and then I walked on the treadmill 5 minutes in each direction. I was pretty proud of my walking, especially backwards and to each side. I didn't have any pain in my ankle. I thought it was over there, but when I got back to the PT room I stretched and then did JUMPING. And yes, I can jump now!! I jumped backwards and forwards, and side to side over a line. And I could do it. This was amazing to me because before I had the screw taken out I could barely stand on my toes. Now I can not only stand on them, I can jump (which requires a lot of work for your toes). It was amazing. I finished up PT that day by balancing on my bad foot and bouncing a ball back and forth to the PT intern. My balance on that foot sucks. I checked my left foot just to be sure I hadn't totally lost my ability to balance, but the left was fine - I could stand on just my left foot all day. So it's the muscles in my right foot that aren't there yet. Just to pass the ball back and forth three times in a row took forever and almost didn't happen, that's how bad my muscles are on that foot at keeping me balanced. I iced and had stim before I left.

On Thursday when I woke up I was a little sore, but honestly not as sore as I thought I would be after all that work (which was a lot for me after being on activity restrictions for SO long especially after this surgery). What actually hurt was my left knee. What?? I was a super-grump for a while that day, limping around, and I thought I was going to have to call Dave about it. I mean, why was my left knee hurting? It made no sense and it made me mad! But I tried to walk around a little more (I did a lap around two floors of our assisted living facility that day) and to my surprise, it got better. I didn't even have to take Advil or anything (the pain was that bad that I thought I would have to). And it hasn't hurt since.

Yesterday I did a bit of walking with my sister to run errands and things. I wore my (ortho approved) flip flops instead of Birkenstocks or tennis shoes, and I think this was a mistake. Towards the end of the day my foot got a weird cramp-like feeling in it. It was like the arch of my foot needed to be stretched, but was simultaneously kicked. It was weird and painful. Resting it at home helped and I've been stretching it out since. I guess it's time to put the flip flops away for now anyways... except for the pool deck. :)

Extending PT - Bad News or Good News?

After originally being told by my surgeon and physical therapist that I would only need PT for 4 weeks, and extending to 5 weeks because of my forgetful brain, I am now extending even more. It's bad news because it means I really haven't made enough (any??) progress, but good news because it gives me more time to work on it I guess. It's also bad news because my schedule is already a bit overextended this month and next month, but I need to do this so I will make time.

Yesterday I got to PT and I was in a bad mood. I don't know if it was my day at work, the crazy woman at PT before me, the annoying PT intern, or just being plain frustrated with my foot and lack of progress, but I was not a happy camper. When I thought about it my ankle wasn't feeling too great that day - it was more swollen than usual, etc. and an unhappy ankle means an unhappy Erin. Dave noticed right away that I wasn't too happy and asked me about it. I tried to express my frustrations in sitting around for a year and a half because of my ankle, but I just got really upset. I was at least able to express my frustrations that all I can do is stretch at PT. Dr. Buchanan said those famous words - let's make sure you're back to all normal activities including running in three months, again and it freaked me out. I don't think I'll be running in three months - my ankle sure doesn't feel that way. And it didn't happen the first time. So Dave decided that starting on Wednesday we're going to "turn things up a notch." I'm supposed to bring my workout clothes and we're going to start harder workouts in the gym. I'm happy about this; I love to be pushed. I will push myself as much as I can, so I'm happy to have permission and someone to help guide me in doing this. Recently I've been afraid of pushing myself too hard and being in major pain or re-injuring myself. Being pushed while at PT is the best thing because Dave can make sure I'm pushing it the right amount and doing things correctly. I can handle the pain. I'm really hopeful this is finally going to help, but also cautious at the same time. I haven't had many things go the way they are supposed to recently, and I could really use some good news about my ankle.

When I have clients who focus on the negative I ask them, what's going right? I'm going to social work myself and ask myself what progress I have made. I do have a little more flexibility in my ankle. I am walking better and not limping most of the time. I also can not only wear a real shoe but now can wear a shoe with a back on it. So maybe there's a little progress in these areas, but I want to get back to "normal." Fingers crossed!

Second Post-Op Appointment

My brain is still over-tired and on overload; on Monday I missed another PT appointment. This one was particularly important because I was supposed to be re-evaluated and have all my measurements taken again to show my progress since starting PT, and a report made to take to my latest surgical post-op appointment with Dr. Buchanan. I was so tired and so frustrated with myself that I forgot another appointment, and a really important one, that I burst into tears on the phone with the receptionist while driving. It was not pretty. But it was an important lesson in how tired I was and how I needed to get my life back in order and stop being a hot mess this month. I'm getting it together, I swear!

Tuesday morning I had my second post-op appointment. This one went a little better than the last one, but was honestly not all that informative. First, I got another x-ray taken and waited for Dr. Buchanan. He was again very pleased with the way things were going - he was happy with the way the incision looked and how the x-ray was showing my healing progress. He said that I could get back to normal activities such as swimming and biking, but that I should wait a few more months to run or to use the treadmill.

This time I got to look at the x-ray too, something I have rarely gotten to do and I always tell myself to make sure I ask to see it. Good thing I know what happened to my ankle because my x-ray looks cRaZy. There are two lines showing my bone in different stages of healing. Of course you can see the line where the screw was taken out a few weeks ago that used to be holding my heel in place. There is also another, bigger, darker, line that is where my bone was cut during my first surgery. Basically I now see what they mean by "Swiss cheese bone." My bone is a mess. No wonder it hurts! And Dr. Buchanan also said it's expected to feel achy through my heel/ankle right now. These are holes in my bone and these were major surgeries and changes to my bone structure, of course it's going to hurt. He also said it could be a year or so until it really fills in and feels "normal" again. Good to know. Finally some validation to my pain! It was really a relief to see the x-rays myself and talk about them.

And that was really all he had to say - he's happy, this is normal. I go back to see him in three months to make sure that I've gotten back to running and all normal activities. When he said that I felt a little nervous because that's what he told me after the first surgery, and of course making sure I got back to running and normal activities never happened last time. I am praying that it does happen this time and in January I can say, YES! Finally I have gotten back to normal activities including running without pain. We will see...

Lessons of the day:  Always ask to see your x-ray. It helps. Get enough rest. And stay patient, especially with yourself!

Wearing Shoes With Backs = Progress!

The past few weeks have been extremely busy for me! So busy in fact, that I thought I had a 5pm PT appointment this week, but got a message from them around 3:30pm that day asking if I was ok. Apparently I had the wrong appointment time and they were worried because I never miss appointments. Brain on overload!! But I have added a week of PT (hopefully - Dave's schedule is really packed) to try to get enough in.

At PT I have been progressing slightly. I have gone from just stretching to also adding in some strengthening exercises. On Friday I added weight-bearing strengths exercise, which is a big step. My foot is swollen and my leg/ankle are tight still, but definitely less pain than before. So we will see as time goes on what happens. It has only been 6 weeks since surgery. I am working on icing at least at night before I go to bed. Again my memory seems to be the problem here...

I go back to Dr. Buchanan on Tuesday morning. I'm sure they'll take another x-ray to see if my Swiss cheese bone is healing. I hope so!

The biggest news is that on Friday I wore a real shoe with a back for the first time since this surgery!! I wore a tennis shoe all day Friday! And I have since worn it a little over the weekend. Victory! Dave says this is also good because it will help reduce swelling throughout the day. If this cold spell continues I'm thinking of wearing my Uggs with my ortho inserts in them, because I'm that cool. And guess what? Only myself and anyone who reads this blog will know my secret. Aren't you special?

Ankles Are Sad When They Can't Walk on Sand

Last weekend was super busy! I got to see one of my grad school loves, and Cashmere Mafia sister, get married to the love of her life and go to the beach to do it! (Thanks Jen!) And then I went on up to Boston to co-host a bridal shower for my love Shannon! All while traveling with some BFF's. What could be better?

My ankle held up pretty well. I even drove the whole way. That's right - up to Baltimore, Baltimore to Spring Lake, NJ. Then Jersey Shore to north of Boston. And then Boston back to B'more, Silver Spring, and NoVA. YES! That happened in one 4 day weekend. It was amazing. (We jammed out to 90's music a good part of the way, particularly the NJ to Boston at 7:30pm to midnight Saturday night portion!)

The celebrations were beautiful. We could not have asked for more perfect weather. And my girls looked AMAZING. Who is more beautiful than a bride in love? A bride in love who happens to be one of my gorgeous friends, that's who. I wore my Birkenstocks (since I still couldn't wear shoes with backs) and kept my ankle wrapped up well. And sadly I couldn't dance at the wedding. (Ok - I did do the Cupid Shuffle very carefully. I can't hear it and not dance. It's not possible). I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

The only sad part was - I couldn't walk on the beach! My incision is still open and even though it was wrapped up pretty well, I was just picturing a not fun time trying to get sand out of my heel... I LOVE the beach. LOVE IT. But it was not worth testing this out and missing an event or being in (extra) pain for this special weekend. So sadly, I stayed on the boardwalk. But hey - I went to the beach in October, I can't be too mad about that.


After surgery, ankles are sad when they can't walk on sand at the beach.



Boom - married! Beautiful bride and groom!

Beautiful bride-to-be!
And that's a cake she's standing next to. Amazing.

Back to Physical Therapy!

I got evaluated by Physical Therapy on Friday, and I've been hurting ever since!

Basically I am only stretching. I am so tight after not walking for just those 9 days or so that I have to stretch my foot/ankle/toes back out so that I can walk correctly. Friday Dave spent time measuring my movement and stretching my foot, ankle, and especially my toes out. I got hooked up to stim with ice and then instructed to stretch (I was given stretches for my calves, ankles, and toes - my Achilles tendon is keeping me really tight) and to ice down at the end of the day, and two other times a day if I can. Also, I still can't do anything activity wise. According to Dave the progression is swimming, biking, elliptical, walking on treadmill, and then running on treadmill. Right now my incision is not all the way closed so I still can't submerge it in water, so of course I can't swim. I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO EXERCISE!!! I feel like a blob, and I am SO frustrated.

Over the weekend I tried to stretch when I could, but only remembered to ice one night. My leg is so tight!! I had a lot of trouble stretching out even. And the part that was the most sore? My toes! What?? Who has ever had sore toes before? It's a weird feeling.

Looks like I'll only do PT for 4 weeks this time. One of my main goals is to get back into a real shoe. Because my incision is still open I have to wear the post-op shoe for at least this week. Then I hope to transition into an open backed shoe soon. I'm nervous about it because it's really tender back there and the post-op shoe is really protecting it. So I am trying to be patient with this too!

Today I went back to PT for my first real session. It was very much the same as Friday. Dave moved and stretch my foot/ankle. Then he massaged my scar tissue around my the outside/back of my ankle and deep down to my Achilles tendon. OUCH! That hurt and I am still sore. It has to get better from here, right?


Even just doing this is incredibly hard and painful. Ouch!



One Year After Surgery

Yesterday marked one year since my ankle surgery. This is a landmark I've been waiting for. It was supposed to be a marker that I could measure my progress by; but after having my second surgery two weeks before this anniversary, I've had quite the setback. I'm just starting to walk again after the second surgery and I'm having to go back to physical therapy, which I wasn't supposed to need to do. I'm ok with going because I recognize that I definitely need to get into PT - I'm not walking well at all. I'm just wondering when it will actually be that I can say "I'm better," or even, "I'm doing really well," when someone asks me. I'm definitely frustrated. But, I do recognize that most likely with more time (and lots more patience) I will get better. And maybe someday I will be better than normal and get back to real activities that I love - like working out (maybe even boxing again??).

When I get down about my ankle and the fact that I have been on activity restrictions for one and a half years now, I've gained weight, and in general my life has been put on hold, I try really hard to look on the bright side. There are people who have worse things happen to them, who aren't going to get better, and whose illnesses or injuries really permanently change their lives. The people I think of the most are our men and women in uniform. How many of them come back injured physically or permanently loose the use of their foot or other body part? And how many of them protect us, but are injured in other ways we can't see? These heroes are inspirational.

This experience with my ankle and having surgery, just like everything else I've been through in my life, is just part of who I am now. As a very wise supervisor would say, it's "woven into my tapestry." It's changed many things about me, but in the end there's nothing I can do about it, it's just something that happened. It's taught me many lessons, and I try to look at it the best way possible. I hope writing my story here helps my friends keep up with me, as well as gives others some hope that if you're going through something, keep going! It will get better! And I hope I've shared some of the hope and kindness I've been shown, as well as the lessons that have helped me.

I feel like I should have made a celebratory cake! One year since surgery!

First Week Back to Work

After getting my bandages off at my doctor's appointment Friday, I've been working hard on my walking. I tried to put my boot on when I got home, but it actually hurt even more because the boot makes your ankle stay in a 90 degree angle. So I chose to wear my post-op shoe instead - it was much more comfortable and actually a lower level that I would have graduated to in a week anyways. Friday I tried to start putting weight on my foot. IT HURT! I had to take lots of Advil and do it slowly. Ouch! Saturday I walked around the house using one crutch. I could not walk without the crutch, and it was pretty painful to put weight on my right foot. Mostly it was painful getting up and starting to move again. The more I tried walking on it, the easier it got. Sunday I finally graduated to not using the crutch! I did limited walking around my parent's house and my sister's house. I still could not walk up or down the stairs. In case you're wondering how to go up and down stairs when you can't walk, you crawl up on your knees, and scoot down on your butt. It looks pretty awesome.

Monday I went back to work. I wore my post-op shoe, and found a cute outfit to match. I was limping, but I made it through the day with some Advil and finding places to sit with clients while at the nursing home. I did not push any wheelchairs that day! None of my clients noticed my foot, but all the nurses did! Tuesday it was a little easier to walk, but I was still limping. Luckily I had mostly paperwork to do since I was admitting a client. However, my client was also moving to a new room and I ended up walking back and forth with her to keep her calm through the process. Finally I got her to sit in one place! Wednesday was another really long day and one of my clients needed to go shopping. I ended up walking all over Target with her. I have to say we were quite a pair - a 70-something year old woman who can't breath well and me limping around allover Target! This was the day that really did me in. Luckily Thursdays are our meeting days, so I had significantly less walking to do - a meeting and paperwork, plus a lot of driving with clients. But after the day before, when I got home, I had to go straight to bed to put my foot up and ice it. I planned to get up again, but I just couldn't. Friday I had already worked more than enough hours for the week, so I had a lighter schedule. Thank goodness!! I saw my clients, ended up pushing a few wheelchairs to take people outside to the garden to meet, but got to leave a little early when my client work was done and our paperwork system went down for over 2 hours... Efficiency at its best I tell you. But back to my ankle - by Friday afternoon I was so exhausted from working so much all week, after 10 days of not doing much at all, my body was DONE. I had to take a really long nap to even get moving again, and then I went to sleep that night ASAP.

I've been struggling a bit with how to wrap my foot. The doctor told me to put a Bandaid on it, as if a Bandaid would stay on a heel... So I've been keeping it wrapped the way Dr. Buchanan wrapped it after my appointment. I also am VERY nervous about all of the scary things that live in the nursing homes that I work in that could get into an open wound. I have been keeping my incisions wrapped and covered with multiple layers. The problem with wrapping is that I've accidentally wrapped it too tight a couple times. Over the weekend I have been experimenting with wrapping less and have finally gotten it down to two Bandaids! Going back to work I'm planning to cover it a bit more though.

Best news: After getting back into my schedule of massaging my other surgery scars with coco butter or Scar Zone, plus allowing them to get some air, my scars have gone back to being a beautiful soft pink color!!! No more ugly purple or bright red scars! YAY!!

I'm continuing to work on my walking and I go to see Dave at physical therapy to be evaluated on Friday. I can't wait to get back to walking normally! At least I am able to walk up and down the stairs now - one step at a time.