Birkenstocks (and other really expensive but awesome shoes)

With the warm weather I usually break out my 2 for $5 Old Navy flip flops. No more! said my doctor and my new ankle! If you haven't heard me say it before: flip flops are SO BAD for your feet. YES YOURS!! They are terrible for everyone and should be thrown out if you have them. Really, they should not be allowed to make these, they are so bad for you. *steps off soapbox* Anyways, I was glad I had gone through and thrown away all* of my terrible-for-you-flip-flops months ago, because I'm not sure I would have had the strength to resist them now!

For my birthday my sister took me for a manicure and FIRST PEDICURE SINCE SURGERY!! (The lady at my favorite nail place was like, "you no come for a while! toes are bad!" Umm thanks, I knew that...) I had picked out a dress to wear for my birthday, and have lots of cute Spring skirts, but no shoes to wear with them. Luckily my mom and I went shopping Sunday and found me some Birkenstocks! I was ready to go! These shoes are so comfy and awesome. Yes, they are expensive. But I have resigned myself to the fact that I am going to have fewer really good for my feet/ankles pairs of shoes now, instead of lots of bad for me shoes. And I love that the "good" shoe brands are making cute shoes, so I don't feel like a clog lady wearing my Danskos all the time.

If you or your feet/ankles are wondering, here are some brands that are really good for you and supportive of your tootsies!:

**Danskos
     (I have these in black clogs. They are freaking awesome for being on my feet all day at work!)
**Naots
     (somehow a bit more expensive than the other expensive shoes, but I have a black pair of these that make me feel like I am walking on clouds. Also they make really cute shoes)
**Birkenstocks
     (please see my awesome and cloud-like comfortable sandals below)


I'm in love! I think I need them in every color!!

 These shoes come in European sizes, so you have to try them on probably to figure that out first. I'm telling you, if I can't wear my New Balance tennis shoes with Ortho inserts, these other shoes will be just fine. My ankle appreciates the care I take in selecting its shoes! :)

Here's an awesome website to find them on! This is the store I got mine at. It's a store of really good for your feet brands!

http://www.nextstepcomfortfootwear.com/Birkenstock_Gizeh_Silver_Birko_Flor_p/4385.htm


*Confession: I kept one pair of ON flip flops - my 4th of July flag ones, because they are awesome and necessary. Clearly I have a problem.

Really ankle? REALLY??

My ankle is not doing well this week. This is partially my fault for not stretching as much as I should lately. But the rest of this week's problems are a mystery to me. Suddenly my ankle is looking swollen and lumpy. YES! Lumpy. What's up with that? I really couldn't tell you, especially since I started taking the NSAID my doctor prescribed at my appointment last week. I give up!

The good news is I swam with Miss Betsy on Monday and we actually did a lot of swimming (for us right now)! We've been swimming about twice a week. It HURTS though! My ankle doesn't usually hurt while swimming unless I really over do it. But swimming itself when I'm this out of shape hurts my body. And my heart. I just want to be in shape and go back to "normal"!! Ok, that's enough complaining. I have to say I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking with it and powering through. Tomorrow we're trying Aqua Zumba! Laugh if you want, but it looks like fun! I'd love to do real Zumba again because it is amazing, but I can't right now. So Aqua Zumba will have to do.

In other good news, I found my scar gel today!! I have searched for it since the weekend to no avail. Finally today I found it under my backrest in my room. I think Snickers put it there. I also use cocoa butter and vitamin E lotion on my scars, but this scar gel from Whole Foods (because I'm so crunchy granola like that) is actually amazing. I'm so glad to have it back finally!!

Disappointing News from Surgeon

Wednesday I went to my ortho surgeon appointment. It was 6 months after surgery and he wanted to make sure that I was standing on my toes and running. I am not.

I was hoping he would say maybe by April I could run. That's what I've been thinking at least. But sadly, that is not what he said. He basically told me that I should start to think of my total recovery time as a year long, and that I should not expect to run until September. He said he would like to think that people can run 6 months after surgery, but that's often not the case. For me, he says, this is not the case. I am taking longer to heal, and that's ok.

I am still having a lot of outside heal pain where my heal was moved. My doctor prescribed a long lasting anti-inflammatory drug since I still have a lot of swelling and pain. I haven't tried this yet, but I'm looking forward to seeing if it will help.

The worst news of all was that I might have to have another surgery to have the screw taken out of my heal. He said this is done sometimes for people who are still having pain in the heal. He also said it's a very simple surgery and the recovery is only a week. Apparently the screw (that I thought would always stay in my ankle now) could be taken out and my heal would stay in its new position. WHAT??

Overall I'm really disappointed and upset about this news. I really want to run and get into normal activities! I want to go back to normal life. I don't want to be in pain anymore and have a huge swollen, painful foot! This has been going on over a year now, and over 6 months since surgery! I'm trying to remain positive, but it's been hard. When I have a pity party I just think that it's not fair. But then, what is fair in this world?

I go back to the doctor in three months - at the end of June, to evaluate whether I need to have the surgery to have the screw taken out. *sigh*

6 Months Since Surgery!!

Today marks 6 months since my ankle reconstruction surgery!

Yay 6 months!

My body decided to celebrate with its enemy gravity, and one of my worst fears for the past 6 months finally came true: I fell. :( I worried about slipping and falling on ice in the winter (of course that was pretty silly this past winter!). I worried about slipping and falling on the pool deck. I used to worry ALL THE TIME about falling, especially after first starting to walk again. But in all this time I haven't fallen (except the day I lost my balance while I was still in my cast. But that was actually ok.). Today as I was leaving work I don't really know what happened, other than simply falling off my really expensive Danskos that they made me get to properly support my new ankle. Freaking Danskos. It was one of those things where you know you're falling, and you try to stop, but it just makes it worse. If my ankle was normal, I think it could have corrected itself and I wouldn't have fallen over. But since it's still weak I had to give in and just fall over. Awesome. I'm surprisingly ok. My ankle definitely hurts, and I scrapped my arm, but I survived! What my doctor said was true - I SURVIVED A FALL!!

Ok, so other than this unwanted "celebration" I've actually come a surprisingly long way in just six months! It seems like a long time since surgery, but it's gone by really quickly at the same time. I've come a long way from the extreme pain I was in after surgery, basically living in bed (in my sister's room because my bed was too high!), to not being able to walk on my right foot at all after getting my cast off, to moving up to actually walking and walking correctly and driving!, to hours upon hours of physical therapy and exercises, to walking and driving a bit further, to swimming, to going back to work... It's really been a journey and I've come a long way!! But there's still so much to do! Next week I have my next appointment with my surgeon. Hopefully there's good news!

In the next six months I hope to:
*continue to build up my ankle strength
*build up to more activities (dare I say "normal" activities??)
*have less swelling
*take good care of my scars so they continue to diminish
Basically, continue making progress!

Balloons. Balloons are perhaps the best way to celebrate. Purple balloons are definitely the best way to celebrate.

One Year Since the Initial Injury

Welcome to my world, one year after my kickboxing injury that started this journey. A journey of pain, PT, a completely new and reconstructed ankle, and everything since then to get back to "normal." Yes ladies and gentlemen, it has now been ONE WHOLE YEAR this week since I got injured in kickboxing class. One year since the night that I tore my tendon. One year since a tumor (which I didn't know about at the time) had eaten away at my tendon so much that a hard blow to the heavy bag caused the tendon to begin tearing, causing an incredible amount of pain. So much pain that I could hardly walk and drive the next day, and for several days following until my supervisor finally suggested (what I did already know) that I should go to the doctor. One year of something being wrong. ONE YEAR OF ACTIVITY RESTRICTIONS - ONE YEAR OF LIMITED TO NO ACTIVITY. That's kind of a big deal, especially for me.

Yes folks, one year ago little did I know that I was embarking on one of the most difficult and legnthy journeys of my life, which continues to this day (and probably at least six more months into the future). I've learned a lot since then - a lot about myself and my body, about the medical and insurance world, about my family and friends, about ankles and tendons, and about pain and my limits. If I didn't know before, I know what I'm made of: some of the toughest stuff around! :) Too bad my ankle wasn't made of the same stuff... And I'm surrounded by some of the best people around! I am incredibly blessed!

Just like one of my favorite social workers would say, this experience is now woven into the tapestry that is me. It's changed me, and the experience and its lessons, feelings, and memories will be with me for forever. And I can live with that. Each thing that gets woven into our tapestry is there for a reason, and truthfully, I wouldn't change my tapestry if I could. Would you?

Uh-Oh

I realized this week that I haven't been very good about keeping up with my exercises since being discharged from PT. It's not that I've been lazy or haven't thought about it; I've been busy! Now that I'm working again, and I have a job that requires a lot of walking and standing, at the end of the day I'm tired, swollen, and sore. Maybe I need to get up earlier to get in my exercises. But if you know me you probably know (or have heard me say) there is not a morning bone in my body! Getting up for a regular day that I HAVE to get up for is hard enough!

March 21st is my 6 month follow up appointment with my surgeon. At this appointment he wants to check my progress and make sure I am clear to run. Not only do I know right now I can't run, I know he will check if I can stand on my toes (needed to be able to run). I can't stand on my toes because I haven't been working on it. :( Uh-oh!

Ok so I need some help - if you talk to me, will you ask me if I've been doing my exercises and working on standing on my toes? I promise from now until March 21st I won't get mad! I need some reminders and some encouragement loves!!

Also, I'm very excited that my love Betsy and I have a plan to join the gym and go swimming! I'm ready to get started on getting back in shape (slowly of course) AND being at the pool to really work on standing on my toes and then running.

I don't have much time left until the appointment, but sometimes progress comes more quickly than I think it will. Let's hope that happens this time! I'm running out of time!!

Belated Week in Review

My first week of work was pretty great! I love my new job. And my ankle is holding up pretty well!

Monday I was in orientation all day, so no problems! And Snickers and I took a long walk.
Tuesday I was in orientation in the morning and then did a lot of reading in the afternoon. I was totally standing at my desk stretching my calves and bending my toes back (because my feet were covered by the desk) when this lady walked by and gave me a weird look. Whatever lady! :) And Snickers and I took a medium walk.
Wednesday I started meeting clients at our assisted living facility. I did a bit of walk in and out of rooms, etc. But did get some down time to sit and rest. It was rainy, so no walk.
Thursday I was back at the assisted living for a clinical meeting and then getting clients to the psychiatrist. I did some standing around and walking, but still not a bad day. Then I went directly to the high school winter sports awards banquet. Since it was a long day my foot was pretty tired at the end.
Friday I went to our nursing home for the first time to meet clients there. I ended up walking around on the floors, in and out of rooms, and then standing while meeting with clients all day. By 2:00 my ankle had had it. I could feel my shoe feeling smaller and smaller. I got a chair for a client we met with, while standing, for about an hour. I just could not stand any longer! I actually think I'm fine with the walking and moving around, but standing for a long period in one spot was what got me. I then ended up driving an hour and 45 minutes to get home. My foot/ankle was NOT HAPPY. I put on my pj's and got it up to rest!

I planned to rest the rest of the weekend, but it was still pretty busy. I did get in some resting, just not as much as I think it needed. I did wear my tennis shoes anytime I had to wear shoes this weekend. As awesome as my nice ortho shoes are, they are no where near as wonderful as tennis shoes with ortho inserts! (Yes, I am actually an 80 year old grandmother.)

I was also pretty tired this week. I am starting to adjust to the schedule more, and now that I go to my office first thing in the morning, I have a really short commute. That's awesome! I didn't sleep all that well a couple of nights, so that didn't help.

Overall I think it was a pretty good week. I took lots of Advil to make it through, but it wasn't too bad with the pain. I'm hoping to get more sleep, get on a good, consistent schedule of going to bed earlier and getting up earlier, and rest and ice my ankle more at night to get ready for the next day.

I think I'm going to like it here.

Kindness: New Co-Workers

I might be biased, but I think social workers are amazing people. They are kind and caring, and help take care of some of our most vulnerable populations. I love being around other social workers, and I've really missed it these past few months! Sure there are lots of other kind and caring people you will encounter, but working with other social workers is really special. I love having clinical conversations with them. They are great listeners. And no one else can really understand what we do unless they've done it. That's why co-workers are so important, especially in social work.

I finally got to go to my office Tuesday afternoon after I'd finished a day and a half of Arlington's County Orientation. I was secretly hoping my co-workers might have left me a welcome note, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. (I work with two other social workers and a psychiatric nurse, plus our supervisor who is a social worker. It's a small team and the more I get to know each of them, the more I think they are amazing and I know I've made the right choice to join them!) When you have a job like we do where we're in and out of the office (mostly out), it's hard to know who will be there when you arrive. I was hoping they hadn't forgotten me! When I walked in I got the best surprise ever! Not only had they left me a note, they had also tied a "Welcome" balloon to my chair! I almost cried. It was so kind and so welcoming and I really appreciated them thinking of me in such a nice way.

My welcome balloon and note from my co-workers at my new desk!

My note!

When I thanked them for it, they each had such cute responses. My supervisor said they weren't sure who would be in the office when I arrived, and they wanted to make sure I felt welcomed. One of my co-workers said they'd been waiting for me to come for a long time. It was so nice!